Ultrasound today. Hoping to see a faster and more regular heartbeat. I don't want the outcome to be the same as last time and it's particularly scary because the timing of my last miscarriage coincides with this ultrasound. I don't know what I'll do if I don't hear a heartbeat today. Especially, since Ian is leaving me on Monday. (Not permanently of course, but he'll be gone for a while). I'm just so .... I'm at a loss for words. I haven't even let myself really feel pregnant up until now. I thought buying a little onesie would make it VISUAL and REAL. But, it feels like someone's baby shower gift. I'm hoping to see progress today. I'm hopeful, but skeptical.
I want to blink and wake up to Thanksgiving morning at my parent's house. With Ian and my grandmother there and knowing I've entered my 2nd trimester. I want to wake up and fast forward a month.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Nerves and hunger and hormones, oh my!
Feeling really nervous and anxious about the possibility of losing this little one inside me. There is so much going on in life right now that I think its beginning to get to me. I wish I could hit pause and go on vacation. Le sigh, alas this is adulthood and reality and real life. I feel like I'm spinning eight plates in the air hoping none of them fall and shatter.
By the way it really pissed me off when people suggest "to take it one day at a time." As if taking two or three was even an option. Perhaps I should blog more often. This always ends up being a cathartic process, blogging.
6 weeks and counting...
Our little sweet pea is 6 weeks old today. The tiny little heart that's just begun beating showed up on my very first ultrasound today.
You're six weeks and one day old today, however you are measuring at 5 weeks and 6 days. Catch up little baby, we want you to stick around! We already love you so much and cannot wait to meet you and kiss your sweet face! You're my little sweet pea, perfectly sized and with a growing heartbeat. Keep growing little seed, I want to meet you!
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| Our little Sweet Pea Lam Bear ;-) |
This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that I'll be spending so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If I could see inside my uterus, I would find an oversize head and dark spots where my baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as my own — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, my baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a pea in a pod.
The baby's jaw, cheeks, chin, eyes, ears, and nose are beginning to form what will eventually become one adorable face. In addition, baby's kidneys, liver, and lungs are developing, and heart is now beating 80 times a minute (and getting faster every day).
At 6 weeks pregnant, the baby's placenta is developing and won't be ready to take over its role for a few more weeks. Until the placenta is mature enough, the yolk sac (a balloon-like structure that is as big as the baby) is providing my little sweet pea with his or her nourishment. The yolk sac will start to disappear completely when the placenta is ready – around 9 or 10 weeks of gestation.
At this point in fetal development, your baby's hands and feet are connected with a layer of webbing. They don't be separate and distinct for several more weeks. From pregnancy week 6 onward, your baby is undergoing dramatic change. He or she is developing all of his or her major organs (heart, lungs, brains, liver, stomach, etc.).
At this point in fetal development, your baby's hands and feet are connected with a layer of webbing. They don't be separate and distinct for several more weeks. From pregnancy week 6 onward, your baby is undergoing dramatic change. He or she is developing all of his or her major organs (heart, lungs, brains, liver, stomach, etc.).
It's been a tough past 4 weeks. I can barely stay awake most of the time. I sleep every chance I get and have not felt guilty at all for doing so! Also, I'm really hungry and moody and my boobs feel like they got into a fight, all sore and swollen.
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| Next week, you'll be this much cuter! |
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I finally got my BFP (big fat positive)!
So I finally got the positive test result as of today. I don't know when baby Lambert was created, but I know we tried so very hard to make it happen! I could not be happier!!!! I was scheduled to get my period today and since I was free of symptoms, I ran over to CVS to buy an EPT. Digital this time, I didn't want any speculation on whether there were lines present or not! When I got the results, I was floored! Dear God, could this be true? I immediately called Dr. Thompson's office and they penciled me in for a noon appointment. Low and behold, I'm due June 6th, 2012. The midwife said there's something about June...(that's when I had my miscarriage this past year) and it happens to be my grandfather's birthday. I know he's watching down from the heavens looking out for me and the little bean growing inside me. I wish he was here to meet him on the big day.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
There's an app for that...
I cannot properly express my sense of urgency and lack of patience for my period to be over and done with! I'm ready to stop bleeding, thanks. So, I'm all gung-ho about this trying-to-conceive bit, or "TTC" as they call it in the online baby forums. I'm so pro-active that I've decided to quit smoking again. The current pack I have in my possession will be my last. I don't need it and I only picked it back up again out of sheer boredom. Also, I stopped spending time with Ian on our back porch because I quit smoking. These days, it's more of a chore than a nice way to enjoy the outdoors. It's too hot outside to even bother with anymore! So, ta-da! Sayonara Marlboro Ultra Lights!
In another one of my efforts of proactive babymaking, I've decided to start tracking the important stuff going on in my body. I bought an OPK (ovulation predictor kit) last month with some pee tabs. I also have an app on my phone where I track when and if I get my period every month called My Days. The app is also supposed to tell you when you're at your most fertile, but I just discovered a brand spankin' new one that is supposed to go above and beyond. Yes - this is a tad graphic, you've been forewarned. There's a new app out for couples TTC called Pink Pad. And, not only does it manage your menstrual calendar, it also tracks weight, cervical mucus, body temperature, ferning, spotting, menstrual flow, emotional and physical health, and connects you to other women for support and information. I don't even know what ferning is, but dammit I'm going to track it!
So I've been religiously taking my prenatal vitamins that I had leftover every night at bedtime. Hopefully that will create a nicer environment for the babymaking to commence! CanNOT. Wait. To. Stop. Bleeding. And. Begin. OVULATING!
In another one of my efforts of proactive babymaking, I've decided to start tracking the important stuff going on in my body. I bought an OPK (ovulation predictor kit) last month with some pee tabs. I also have an app on my phone where I track when and if I get my period every month called My Days. The app is also supposed to tell you when you're at your most fertile, but I just discovered a brand spankin' new one that is supposed to go above and beyond. Yes - this is a tad graphic, you've been forewarned. There's a new app out for couples TTC called Pink Pad. And, not only does it manage your menstrual calendar, it also tracks weight, cervical mucus, body temperature, ferning, spotting, menstrual flow, emotional and physical health, and connects you to other women for support and information. I don't even know what ferning is, but dammit I'm going to track it!
So I've been religiously taking my prenatal vitamins that I had leftover every night at bedtime. Hopefully that will create a nicer environment for the babymaking to commence! CanNOT. Wait. To. Stop. Bleeding. And. Begin. OVULATING!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Nobody knows...
I'm such an open and public person. I'm generally the total opposite of private in daily life. I'm perfectly ok with sharing my life's on-goings with moderately acquainted strangers. I'm not generally inclined to talk about my deep, dark secrets. However, there's not many of those anyway. So, overall I don't have much to hide. My mother sees this as a fault of mine, but I tend to disagree. It's part of my charm, see. I'm what people call "sincere" in every sense of the word. Sometimes I can sense how she feels though, when I see Ian over-sharing with people I assume to be strangers. I agree it is usually better to keep quiet, because as I've learned in life, the more you put out there, the more ammunition for which people have to hurt you. However, my general friendly nature and my chatty inclinations usually steer me away from keeping too many things secret, especially from those who know me well.
Ian and I have managed, however, to keep our current secret pretty quiet. I suppose since I'm blogging about it, that it no longer constitutes as a secret. However, I find it hard to believe anyone other than Ian or my mother continue to read a blog about a pregnancy of mine that no longer exists. I haven't much advertised that I continue to blog about motherhood because, well no one really knows our secret.
We're trying to conceive. We're actively trying to get pregnant. We've been having sex way before we were supposed to after the miscarriage and have continued to have unprotected sex in hopes of an extra-fertile window of opportunity post baby loss. I finally got my period last week, which as Ian stated "...is a good thing, because now we can officially start trying." He's right. Even though I hated buying another box of tampons instead of getting that prenatal vitamin prescription filled, that ovulation predictor kit that I bought last month will finally be put to use! In just a few days I'll be able to start tracking all that important information about my body.
It took almost a year of unprotected sex and stars aligning to get pregnant. Even among my cystic ovaries and endometrial-lined uterus, we managed to fertilize the little egg inside me. However, since it did take a year, we haven't told anyone that we are actively trying just in case we miss the mark. Just in case we take extra long to conceive or I manage to get pregnant again and have complications. Whatever the case may be, I won't be making the same mistake twice. I'll be waiting for the end of my first trimester to start spreading the news. Unless, that is, you read my blog and figure it out.
I'm continuing to plan my wedding in the midst of it all. I don't care if I'm big and fat and all belly on my wedding day. I'll be standing next to the man I love with a beautiful blessing of a child growing inside me. I'll still enjoy that honeymoon in the caribbean we're having so much fun planning. I'll still dance to Frank Sinatra and drink champagne on my wedding day. I'll be there with my mother, father, and grandmother by my side cheering me on every step of the way. I'm am and will continue to be happy and that's all that matters.
Ian and I have managed, however, to keep our current secret pretty quiet. I suppose since I'm blogging about it, that it no longer constitutes as a secret. However, I find it hard to believe anyone other than Ian or my mother continue to read a blog about a pregnancy of mine that no longer exists. I haven't much advertised that I continue to blog about motherhood because, well no one really knows our secret.
We're trying to conceive. We're actively trying to get pregnant. We've been having sex way before we were supposed to after the miscarriage and have continued to have unprotected sex in hopes of an extra-fertile window of opportunity post baby loss. I finally got my period last week, which as Ian stated "...is a good thing, because now we can officially start trying." He's right. Even though I hated buying another box of tampons instead of getting that prenatal vitamin prescription filled, that ovulation predictor kit that I bought last month will finally be put to use! In just a few days I'll be able to start tracking all that important information about my body.
It took almost a year of unprotected sex and stars aligning to get pregnant. Even among my cystic ovaries and endometrial-lined uterus, we managed to fertilize the little egg inside me. However, since it did take a year, we haven't told anyone that we are actively trying just in case we miss the mark. Just in case we take extra long to conceive or I manage to get pregnant again and have complications. Whatever the case may be, I won't be making the same mistake twice. I'll be waiting for the end of my first trimester to start spreading the news. Unless, that is, you read my blog and figure it out.
I'm continuing to plan my wedding in the midst of it all. I don't care if I'm big and fat and all belly on my wedding day. I'll be standing next to the man I love with a beautiful blessing of a child growing inside me. I'll still enjoy that honeymoon in the caribbean we're having so much fun planning. I'll still dance to Frank Sinatra and drink champagne on my wedding day. I'll be there with my mother, father, and grandmother by my side cheering me on every step of the way. I'm am and will continue to be happy and that's all that matters.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
6 weeks...
Today is the six week anniversary of my miscarriage.
Today, I finally got my period.
Although I was hoping to skip having one altogether and become immediately pregnant again, I am relieved to know that my body is healing and being put back together again. The doctor says we should wait 2 cycles before we try again, but that hasn't stopped us.
I titled this blog more appropriately than I had imagined. It appears that the road to motherhood will certainly be a journey. However long or winding, the road leading up to it is paved with the best of intentions. I am so very happy to be starting a family with this wonderful man in my life and right now I look forward to the day he will call me his wife. The rest will come in time...
Today, I finally got my period.
Although I was hoping to skip having one altogether and become immediately pregnant again, I am relieved to know that my body is healing and being put back together again. The doctor says we should wait 2 cycles before we try again, but that hasn't stopped us.
I titled this blog more appropriately than I had imagined. It appears that the road to motherhood will certainly be a journey. However long or winding, the road leading up to it is paved with the best of intentions. I am so very happy to be starting a family with this wonderful man in my life and right now I look forward to the day he will call me his wife. The rest will come in time...
Friday, July 8, 2011
you left me as quickly as you came...
I lost you, baby. I lost you in the early hours of June 16th, 2011. I remember it like it was yesterday, despite it being almost a month ago.
I woke up around 4am with an odd feeling, gurgling deep in my lower belly. It was something I had not experienced for what seemed like eons, but had actually been around 2 months. I had diarrhea. This struck me as strange, considering I had been so constipated since I found out I was pregnant. It was the one thing holding fast and true, reminding me of the little life draining all the fluid and nutrients from my body. I chocked it up to the turkey burgers Ian had fixed for dinner. Maybe he had undercooked them? I thought to myself...
I awoke the next morning. Business as usual. Excited and nervous for what I had hoped to be the last ultrasound I would have for a while. Little did I know what I was wishing for that morning. There was no heartbeat. Somewhere around 9-10 weeks, your life left me. You left me as quickly as you came. I never met you, but I had loved you so much. You consumed my thoughts and my life from the moment I realized I was going to have you. You were a blessing, a miracle, a true wonder and joy. You had given me something I had longed for, for so long...the excitement and anticipation of motherhood.
I'll always miss you and think of you. You're still with me, I know it. Although I've never had to encounter the passing of a loved one, you were my loss. I still mourn you. It's soon, still. You would have been 3 months on Sunday. I'll try to remember that you're with God and that you'll be with the next angel that comes down to join our family. January 22nd will never be the same ever again.
I woke up around 4am with an odd feeling, gurgling deep in my lower belly. It was something I had not experienced for what seemed like eons, but had actually been around 2 months. I had diarrhea. This struck me as strange, considering I had been so constipated since I found out I was pregnant. It was the one thing holding fast and true, reminding me of the little life draining all the fluid and nutrients from my body. I chocked it up to the turkey burgers Ian had fixed for dinner. Maybe he had undercooked them? I thought to myself...
I awoke the next morning. Business as usual. Excited and nervous for what I had hoped to be the last ultrasound I would have for a while. Little did I know what I was wishing for that morning. There was no heartbeat. Somewhere around 9-10 weeks, your life left me. You left me as quickly as you came. I never met you, but I had loved you so much. You consumed my thoughts and my life from the moment I realized I was going to have you. You were a blessing, a miracle, a true wonder and joy. You had given me something I had longed for, for so long...the excitement and anticipation of motherhood.
I'll always miss you and think of you. You're still with me, I know it. Although I've never had to encounter the passing of a loved one, you were my loss. I still mourn you. It's soon, still. You would have been 3 months on Sunday. I'll try to remember that you're with God and that you'll be with the next angel that comes down to join our family. January 22nd will never be the same ever again.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Power out...
No...not the Arcade Fire song....but there was a really bad storm here and our power is kaput. Why did it have to happen during the last game of the Stanley cup? We lost power like 15 minutes ago and the Bruins already scored again twice. Ugh. I'm so tired and achey that of course I cannot sleep. It's already so hot in here. I can't believe my mom endured 9 months of this in the Florida summer heat. Lawd!
Aaaaaaaaaaarrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhh!
I'm sooooo hungry!!!!!! But, I feel sooooooo pukey!!!!!!!!!! I really really really want to go eat at Yeah Burger...but we're kind of broke. Is it possible to feel like you're going to hurl at the same time you're craving greasy red meat stacked with onion rings and a side of peanut butter/chocolate ice cream?
PS. Morning sickness is a cruel joke when it only shows up after 3:00pm
the muppets....
will our kids ever know how wonderful they were?
And, Sesame Street? This is awesome....
(the bean) sick joke...
My amazing coworkers/friends feel desperately inclined to name the unborn....this showed up in my email box a few minutes ago. They are convinced that if I'm being swayed to name it a "spanish" name...that Frijol would work out like a charm...
Thanks guys....
we got such an awesome deal...
So dare I say it? I'm a little pissed off. Earlier this year, I scored a totally badass deal from Half Off Depot for White Water Rafting. It was so good, I posted it on Facebook and one of our friends even bought a voucher for it. Well, now that I'm all knocked up I won't be able to go. Do you know how long I've been wanting to go White Water Rafting? I've been putting it off for so long because my friends can't get it together to agree on a date to go, a time of year that works, blah blah blah....
I finally make strides to just DO IT...just Ian and I and have some fun...we were even going to rent a cabin...and now I can't. Did I mention I'm kind of pissed?
White Water Rafting...just add it to the long list of things I can't do while I'm pregnant....like scooping out the litterbox, drinking alcohol, eating sushi, and deliciously evil soft cheeses....
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| Almost as bad for the baby as hard drugs... |
I finally make strides to just DO IT...just Ian and I and have some fun...we were even going to rent a cabin...and now I can't. Did I mention I'm kind of pissed?
White Water Rafting...just add it to the long list of things I can't do while I'm pregnant....like scooping out the litterbox, drinking alcohol, eating sushi, and deliciously evil soft cheeses....
Tuesday was a trying day...
Wow...a lot to report! First things first, my due date has been pushed back from January 22 to February 1st (as you'll see I've changed all my tickers on the right!) I went to the doctor yesterday for a "confirmation appointment." According to my last ultrasound, the doctor seems to think I'm not as pregnant as once thought. This decision/realization/determination comes after reading the baby's heartbeat on the last U/S, at 75 bpm, it's a tad slow for an 8 weeker, but apparently a-ok for a 6 week embryo. Who knew? I'm a little upset, mainly because I thought I was out of "worry mode" when they said "As long as we hear a heartbeat, we're ok" at the last ultrasound. Now I'm hearing "We need another ultrasound on Thursday to determine the heartbeat and line it up with the age." What next? Yikes! I hope everything evens out...it's already been a bumpier ride than I would have preferred. I guess the bean likes to make an grand entrance...
So, the bean is back to being a blueberry, and not quite a raspberry yet! It's a little confusing, because we found out I was pregnant on May 20th. Which, according to this new due date, would mean that I was only 2 days pregnant at the time?! I think!? I don't know. I'm just hoping the findings are normal on Thursday and I'm kind of excited to get another sonogram picture out of it all :)
If I'm only 7 weeks prego today, I guess that means my symptoms have been a tad more severe than originally expected. My boobs are GI-NORMOUS and I found it somewhat flattering that my young, with-it doctor couldn't stop staring yesterday. I guess I still have it, overweight, b00balicious, pregnant and all! >:o)
Also, I'm restoring my faith in BabyCenter Community. As much as I got pissy and hurt yesterday when someone told me the apparent "baby bump" in the photo I posted was just BLOAT, I must agree they were right. Especially if all this business of not being quite 8 weeks is true. There's just no way, not even if I was a size 2 at this point could I have a distended tummy like the one I am currently sporting! Thanks lady, and thanks to the extra sweet girl who posted afterwards who just simply said "embrace your bloat!"
I guess I'm a little overeager to start showing off a bump that hasn't even formed yet. The little bean is still growing and just isn't there yet. Did I forget to mention that I lack the virtue of patience? Yep, I'm definitely cut out for this mommy thing, huh? Ahhhh, I'll just have to add that to my list of prayers.
By the way, good eating habits abound! I'm doing very well in the eating department. I have made huge efforts to incorporate legumes (yep, I said it and you know what they are!), leafy greens, healthy whole grains, and dare I even say it....MILK (Organic, even!) into my diet!!!! Please take a look at my awesomeness-du-jour, accompanied by a glass of (gasp!) water...yes...no more Diet Cokes...(as of 3 days ago now!!!)
PS. Being pregnant and hungry at Whole Foods is dangerous. Avoid it all costs if you can! Well, unless you're married to a fancy doctor or lawyer.
So, the bean is back to being a blueberry, and not quite a raspberry yet! It's a little confusing, because we found out I was pregnant on May 20th. Which, according to this new due date, would mean that I was only 2 days pregnant at the time?! I think!? I don't know. I'm just hoping the findings are normal on Thursday and I'm kind of excited to get another sonogram picture out of it all :)
If I'm only 7 weeks prego today, I guess that means my symptoms have been a tad more severe than originally expected. My boobs are GI-NORMOUS and I found it somewhat flattering that my young, with-it doctor couldn't stop staring yesterday. I guess I still have it, overweight, b00balicious, pregnant and all! >:o)Also, I'm restoring my faith in BabyCenter Community. As much as I got pissy and hurt yesterday when someone told me the apparent "baby bump" in the photo I posted was just BLOAT, I must agree they were right. Especially if all this business of not being quite 8 weeks is true. There's just no way, not even if I was a size 2 at this point could I have a distended tummy like the one I am currently sporting! Thanks lady, and thanks to the extra sweet girl who posted afterwards who just simply said "embrace your bloat!"
I guess I'm a little overeager to start showing off a bump that hasn't even formed yet. The little bean is still growing and just isn't there yet. Did I forget to mention that I lack the virtue of patience? Yep, I'm definitely cut out for this mommy thing, huh? Ahhhh, I'll just have to add that to my list of prayers.
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| Chock full of Yum & Health |
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| NOT! a Diet Coke |
PS. Being pregnant and hungry at Whole Foods is dangerous. Avoid it all costs if you can! Well, unless you're married to a fancy doctor or lawyer.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
man...babycenter community is a little harsh
So I joined Baby Center "Community" and joined a couple of groups...and I always see girls posting their belly pictures asking for opinions, etc.
I just got a comment on my post about my 8 week picture saying that "You are probably very bloated."
I don't know why but it hurt my feelings. :(
Bitches!!! Maybe I am...whatever...I shouldn't have posted a picture if I didn't want o hear it!
I just got a comment on my post about my 8 week picture saying that "You are probably very bloated."
I don't know why but it hurt my feelings. :(
Bitches!!! Maybe I am...whatever...I shouldn't have posted a picture if I didn't want o hear it!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Nursery Decor...
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| The Land of Nod |
They've got me wanting a boy AND a girl....it's enough to get knocked up again for the fabric swatches ALONE!
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| The Land of Nod |
Seriously...it's going to be a tough road ahead in the decorating of the nursery department....
i might lose my lunch...
It's a proud day...I've been really healthy (ok, healthier) with my food intake today. I prepared a low fat cold pasta salad for Ian and my lunch. It's chock full of goodies like protein-packed garbanzo beans, chopped spinach, and dried cranberries.
However, I almost lost my oh-so-healthy-protein-packed lunch when I started perusing websites on determining your birthplan. Apparently, my stomach has become so sensitive, it cannot handle reading about perineal stretching, membrane rupturing, or afterbirth while eating. Good to know. I'm making a "mental memory" of that one.
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| sweet, salty, and oh-so-addictive! |
Ok, so this is my "healthy" attempt at having something sweet with my lunch. They were on sale at Publix (buy one, get one free - family value sized, too) and I just adore granola and nuts! I will not share exactly how many of these bars I had yesterday. It's none of your business, really! :-)
birth plan? huh? I don't know...make it NOT hurt or have anything break please...that includes my vag...
Ewww....GROSS! Assisted Cesarian??? Radical Doulas? Eek...
I have no idea what I want when it comes to giving birth. The concept/idea of it all just scares the CRAP out of me. Can I repeat this for you...TERRIFIED! I have some at-home studying to do...my first (and maybe only!) baby book just came in the mail!
I have no idea what I want when it comes to giving birth. The concept/idea of it all just scares the CRAP out of me. Can I repeat this for you...TERRIFIED! I have some at-home studying to do...my first (and maybe only!) baby book just came in the mail!
did you want some cheese with your whine??
So...blogland...Mom...Ian...and whoever else may stumble upon reading this blog...
It has occurred to me that this feels like the pregnancy symptom complaint blog. I'll have you know, dearies, that it was never my intention to come off as a whiner. I suppose the only thing going on with this pregnancy right now is the ever-changing wierdo things happening to my body. Otherwise, life is pretty uneventful right now. And, although I anxiously await the days of posting photos of my baby showers and awesome nursery decorations and furniture, right now all I've got to share with you is my insomnia.
It became apparent to me this morning that Ian is getting "used to" my hormonal rants and insomnia induced morning moodiness. He flows through the morning routine like a champ consisting of feeding the kitties, putting down some drinking water, filling up our tupperware containers full of whatever today's lunch consists of, walks outside for a cigarette and all the while just stays OUT of my way. I feel terrible. Especially this morning...both physically and emotionally. I'm moody because I didn't get any sleep last night. In fact, I spent most of last night resenting Ian for his extended snoozefest while I tossed and turned with my Boppy Pregnancy Body Pillow. I feel terrible for being so damn moody and bitchy. I know he's been going through his own anxiety lately, and I haven't particularly been the strongest shoulder to lean on, but hey...I'm growing a human here! Anyway, needless to say, I love this guy more and more with every passing day. I mean, my mom doesn't even put up with my crap...she called me out last night. When, apparently I was "dismissive" on the phone during our brief conversation. Little did she know that I wasn't trying to rush her off, just trying to finish eating my bowl of Peanut Butter Chocolate GooGoo Ice Cream. I was enjoying it dammit. No harm, no foul. But, I never meant to be RUDE. Sorry. Thank you to both Ian and my Mom for everything that they have done, continue to do, and will do in the future...I really love you guys!!!
Anywho...hoping all of this gets a little easier... Can I have one of those easy, breezy, beautiful (minimal weight-gaining) pregnancies, please? Argh! Suffering from really bad allergies, causing me not to get to sleep, snowballing into anxiety of insomnia...Rawwrrrr!!!! I need a nap. Maybe I'll take one of those lunchtime power naps. Hopefully I'll get some sleep before I scratch my eyeballs out. Yay...it's MONDAY.
It has occurred to me that this feels like the pregnancy symptom complaint blog. I'll have you know, dearies, that it was never my intention to come off as a whiner. I suppose the only thing going on with this pregnancy right now is the ever-changing wierdo things happening to my body. Otherwise, life is pretty uneventful right now. And, although I anxiously await the days of posting photos of my baby showers and awesome nursery decorations and furniture, right now all I've got to share with you is my insomnia.
It became apparent to me this morning that Ian is getting "used to" my hormonal rants and insomnia induced morning moodiness. He flows through the morning routine like a champ consisting of feeding the kitties, putting down some drinking water, filling up our tupperware containers full of whatever today's lunch consists of, walks outside for a cigarette and all the while just stays OUT of my way. I feel terrible. Especially this morning...both physically and emotionally. I'm moody because I didn't get any sleep last night. In fact, I spent most of last night resenting Ian for his extended snoozefest while I tossed and turned with my Boppy Pregnancy Body Pillow. I feel terrible for being so damn moody and bitchy. I know he's been going through his own anxiety lately, and I haven't particularly been the strongest shoulder to lean on, but hey...I'm growing a human here! Anyway, needless to say, I love this guy more and more with every passing day. I mean, my mom doesn't even put up with my crap...she called me out last night. When, apparently I was "dismissive" on the phone during our brief conversation. Little did she know that I wasn't trying to rush her off, just trying to finish eating my bowl of Peanut Butter Chocolate GooGoo Ice Cream. I was enjoying it dammit. No harm, no foul. But, I never meant to be RUDE. Sorry. Thank you to both Ian and my Mom for everything that they have done, continue to do, and will do in the future...I really love you guys!!!Anywho...hoping all of this gets a little easier... Can I have one of those easy, breezy, beautiful (minimal weight-gaining) pregnancies, please? Argh! Suffering from really bad allergies, causing me not to get to sleep, snowballing into anxiety of insomnia...Rawwrrrr!!!! I need a nap. Maybe I'll take one of those lunchtime power naps. Hopefully I'll get some sleep before I scratch my eyeballs out. Yay...it's MONDAY.
Doc in his jumperoo...
My friend Amanda just had a little boy about 6 months ago. He's already so BIG with his 2 little teeth and strong enough to jump all afternoon in his jumperoo (or Second Mommy) as she likes to refer to it! I cannot wait for all of this!!!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
8 weeks today...
My little bean is the size of a raspberry today.
He's finally almost an inch long and has fingers and toes (albeit webbed). I can't believe the little monkey is finally starting to look like a human. I've been so tired lately. I don't know where or how I will ever get enough rest. My house has become my hibernation den of relaxation. I make every attempt to get all the rest I can while I'm home. The nausea and fatigue have made having a social life tough lately, but I hope that this weightlifting prenatal yoga class will help. I was a little sore today, which is a good sign. I was using 10lb weights yesterday, so I'm kind of proud that I haven't turned to complete mush. Spent most of the day in bed with my heating pad napping and dreaming of being a mommy. I just can't wait to meet this little angel. I better start learning everything I can from my mom. How does anyone ever figure out how to be a good mom?
He's finally almost an inch long and has fingers and toes (albeit webbed). I can't believe the little monkey is finally starting to look like a human. I've been so tired lately. I don't know where or how I will ever get enough rest. My house has become my hibernation den of relaxation. I make every attempt to get all the rest I can while I'm home. The nausea and fatigue have made having a social life tough lately, but I hope that this weightlifting prenatal yoga class will help. I was a little sore today, which is a good sign. I was using 10lb weights yesterday, so I'm kind of proud that I haven't turned to complete mush. Spent most of the day in bed with my heating pad napping and dreaming of being a mommy. I just can't wait to meet this little angel. I better start learning everything I can from my mom. How does anyone ever figure out how to be a good mom?
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