First one down, 2 more to go! Trimesters that is...

I feel like I've hit a milestone of sorts, similar to graduating high school.  Graduating from high school isn't really a spectacular or life changing event in your life, but it sort of gives you the "safe" thumbs-up.  Safe from what you ask? Well, safe from dying penniless and uneducated.  You're safe, you can at least find a job in fast food.  Does that make sense to anyone else that isn't inside my head?  It's a milestone because although it's not a spectacular event (such as birth!) it puts me in the safety zone.  My baby wants to keep growing and stick around.  We've been through a lot, us two.  Let me tell you! I don't share half the crazy that goes on because I want to keep this blog lively and upbeat.  I also use this blog to not only document the precious gift of every passing day I get to have this baby grow inside me, but to also help me stay positive.  It's easy to focus on all the wierdo stuff going on with my body and the horrible side effects of pregnancy and all the things that are probably normal but I freak out about simply because I'm still getting over a miscarriage.  It's daunting most days.

I'm thankful to God for allowing me to become a mommy  --- at all.  This road was never supposed to be an easy one for me.  I had expected to spend thousands of dollars for the privilege of parenthood.  Luckily not a dime was spent, surely not even on contraception. I am blessed to be entering my 2nd trimester on Sunday.  I am thankful that I will be able to dye my hair and restore some of my self esteem :)  I am thankful to my doctor for allowing me to get back on my Prozac as I enter the 2nd trimester.  I'm not ashamed to admit that I take an antidepressant.  I don't handle stress well when I'm not aided by medicine.  I certainly don't handle purchasing a home, trying to keep the sweet pea alive inside me, a stressful job with a lot of pressure, things going on that are out of our control with Ian.  The ups and downs are hard on a good day.  Trying to deal with the added strain of pregnancy hormones and lack of drugs just isn't pleasant (for anyone!).

Since I have the worst ever Ultrasound Tech at my doctor's office, I've decided to seek outside sources for decent ultrasound pictures.  I found a place called See Baby located at Emory Hospital downtown (near our current apartment) where I can get a 2-D ultrasound of the baby.  I can go there, pay $60 and not be rushed out or made felt bad because I want to watch the little peanut swim around and kick and listen to the heart beat more than 5 seconds.  I get 15 minutes of uninterrupted baby time and GUARANTEED awesome baby pics or I can go back if the baby doesn't cooperate.  Generally this place caters to women who are in advanced pregnancy looking for the 3-D or 4-D experience.  And, the lady was shocked to hear I just wanted a normal ultrasound.  But, it's important to me.  I've started a scrapbook for the little tiny nugget and I want to make sure we get some good pictures.  Last time I got home from the doctor's and Mandy's stupid ultrasound, I noticed that the baby looked like a blurry howard the duck.  It looked like a blobby duckbill platypus.  Ugh. She is such a bitch!  I don't understand how someone can be so repeatedly nasty when it's their job to take pictures of babies in tummies all day long.  Lord, she doesn't know how good she's got it!  If the worst part of my day was sticking a probe up a woman's vag, I think I'd be ok with that.

So I have to remember to go to the grocery this week and really start taking pictures of me and some fruit.  I know it's stupid, but I'm finally starting to show and I thought up until now it was pointless to hold a sesame seed or a sweet pea in my hand and hold it up to my tummy.  Times have changed.  This kid's the size of a plum now.  One of my favorite fruits and that's a handful for me! (Yes, I have tiny hands.)

All the right parts should be there, they just have to keep growing from here on out!  At 12 weeks:

• Most of her critical systems are fully formed!
• She's about to enter the growth and maturation stage, in which her organs and tissues will grow and develop rapidly.
• She's now developing her reflexes -- if you poke her body, she'll likely move.
• She's opening and closing her fingers and curling her toes, too.
• Her brain is developing fast!

The hormones should finally simmer down.  However, the increased blood flow is rearing it's ugly head.  I woke up with a busted blood vessel in my eye.  I look like a crackhead.  My belly is noticeably bigger and the sweet security guy at work kindly asked me if I was expecting a baby.  Let's just say that I couldn't have been happier that he was the first person (ever in my life) to ask if I was expecting.  He is the kindest man ever and I think if anyone else had asked me I would have just been pissed about looking fat.  I've learned the trick to being chunky and pregnant - don't wear plus size clothes because you just end up looking fat and frumpy.  I've taken to already wearing the most maternity of clothes (second hand if I can find them! :) and I find that it helps me feel better about myself.  Like ugh, I'm wearing a 1X or a 2X, no I'm wearing a size 16 maternity jeans.  Yes thank you!  I'm still pretty exhausted but I've had some pretty bad headaches this week which apparently are normal and right on schedule according to the bump.  
I've started to rub down my belly with Bio Oil in an effort to prevent the stretch marking.  Also, on my trip to Motherhood Maternity I purchased a new bra because the dub D's have outgrown their pretty lacy numbers. I'm officially an F cup.  Hold on people, this could get really scary by the end!  I don't know what happens when you run out of letters in bra cup sizes!
I'm sorry (to whomever reads this blog lovingly and loyally) that this post is very frenetic and all over the place.  I had a lot to say and much to report.  More pics up soon, I promise! :)